My Band Name For Today

• The Spanks
• Trufaut/Hitchcock
• '68 Comeback Special
• Disembowel-Mint
• Torture Schema [thx ms. paranoid]
• Count Your Peas

• Chicken for Life
• I Am Curious (Giallo)
• Robble-Robble
• Space Vegas
  
  
• Vowel Movement
• Descartes/Pascal Fiasco
• Greedo Shoots First
• Wesley Willis Cries Out From Beyond The Grave “I Done Had Me A Heart Attack”
• Immortal Schizophrenic Valhalla

• Phaser Rot
• The Gor Blimeys
• Banned from Kmart
• "GhostLight" or "GhostWalk"
• Your Favorite Band Sucks

• Voice of Orson
• Odds Bodkins
• Gak Preservation Society
• The Crying of Lot 49
• The Muthas of Thomas Pynchon (Sorry, Mr. P., but I am currently writing tech documents for Boeing, so you are on my mind. Wish me well in my prose).

• "Office Pen Thieves" or "The Swipes" or "The Penswipes"
• Whiter Shade of Payola
• The Hamdingers (because “nobody likes Hamdingers!”)
• A Machine Did Not Randomly Generate This Bandname

• Back Tax Band
• Back Fat Bra(TM) *
• Stamp Seven, Clap Five
• Kentucky Fried Zombie

• No Love for Paxton
• Amused by the News
• Scoobicide
• No Fat Chicks

* My dad invented this (Back Fat Bra) several years ago. It pulls back-fat from grotesquely obese women (or men, I guess) to the front for a more flattering effect—not that the lovely, lovely ladies reading this blog are obese. Far from it.
--Anyway, the Playtex people were not amused, but folks who are into shoes and so forth would probably jump at it.

I will spare you from Dad's "eat all you want" diet neck-bypass machine. It is (1) not for the squeamish and (2) prone to causing infections.

• The Sniffs
• Saint Cinnamon
• 3 Hours Late
• Da Ho-Ho-Hos
• The Rupture Fattys
• They Might Be Coconuts
• Divide-Down Digital
• More Popular Than Beatles

• Mormon Chocolate
• Mormon Mermaid
• '68 LDS Freakout
• Lay Off The Mormons, Why Don't You?
• Pushup Geezer

• Not Crunchy At All
• The Bloody Diapers
• Something from Caddyshack--you figure it out. I don't care.
• Butterface

• I have No Spleen
• Feynman-Tufte Principle
• The Whisker Chickens

• Ternary Trits
• May Contain Peanuts
• Add With Carry, Subtract Without Borrow

• Just The Stuff

A Policy Note:

1) Yes, in a few months I’m going to name my actual band one of these names. I will put up some MP3 links from our band once the website is ready.

2) Keep in mind that these are original band names. I would love to list “Barbie Bones” or “The Pain Teens”, but they are real bands, so you will not see them here. Some of you are sending me real band names. I’m not collecting actual bands, but keep sending them. I may create a “Cool REAL Bands” list someday.

3) There MAY be bands with the same name as the ones I make up. I can’t guarantee that a guy in Minong Wisconsin didn’t also make up a band named “More Cowbell”. Also I am free to name bands after songs by other bands (e.g. “Cocteau Twins”, who were named from a Simple Minds song).

4) Frequently Asked Question #1

• Q: Isn’t this a waste of effort and time that should be applied to doing something actually creative?
• A: Yes. It’s like a writers group. We get together and talk out our stories so we never have to write or market them.

5) Frequently Asked Question #2

• Q: What is that high solo string sound on Gary Numan's "Cars"?
• A: Often misreported as a (rare) Polymoog, this is actually a little-known Polymoog variant, the stripped-down "Polymoog Keyboard". Although it shared the dreaded divide-down oscillator of the Polymoog, it contained the hardwired "Vox Humana" preset, used By Numan in "Cars". Vox Humana sounds nice--raising the number of good sounds the Polymoog could produce to 1--but Vox Humana loses some of it's luster when you consider that its designed to sound like (a) the eponymous organ stop, or (b) the human voice.

And now--without further Perdue—today’s band names:

• Eddy Jibbits
• Talk Like A Pirate
• Itchycoo Park
• "Antony Pantony" or "Sugarbritches"

• The Last Numbered Commandments
• Tarragon of Animals
• Less Than 5 Parsecs
• The Funky Davenports

• Pictionary Dickies
• Dirt-Cheap Drive
• Natural Male Enhancement
• The Asian Scoobies

• Batch Man

• Nice Guy Eddie
• The Butter Machines
• Tragic Mormon Dystopia

• Man Panty (Thanks Wendy ;-) )
• Adrienne Barbeau-bot
• Locked for Editing

• Rugged Coupon Avenger

• Jimmy Doohan Tribute (Thanks J. You were an inspiration and a gentleman. You will be missed.)

• Pain Don't Hurt
• Rat Pfink a Boo Boo
• Sniff the Sharpie

• Lonnie and his Moronic Gardener
• She Blinded Me With Scientology
• "Never Trust A Mutant" (extra points for guessing the origin [Clue: NOT from X-Men!])

• Sassmouth Backhand

My band name for this morning shall be:

• Right Wing Propaganda Machine

Lunch:

• Jew Run Media

My band name for this afternoon:

• Condemned By Jim
  

This evening-Open for suggestions. Considering:

• Sticky Wicket

or

• Scott Tenorman Must Die

• Theresa with a Visa
• Aquaflesh
• Dadblame Delinquent Punks

• Complex Plastic Taillight.
• The Faders
• Potato Roll Handshake
• Roger Wilco and the Baseband
• Amish Grenade

• The Ice Mimes
• Flying Invisible Predators
• Rashy Mom
• The Akira Ifukube Jazz Transfusion
• The Sensory Rats
• Gonna Need A Bigger Band

• Overlords of the UFO
• In-Flight Movie

--Inspired by the fact that I was one of the lucky few who honest-to-gosh received "Catwoman" as their in-flight movie.

• Amateur Thrillride (or perhaps "The Redneck Thrillride Safety Inspectors!")
• A Generation of Boys All Named Things Like "Dakota"

• Boat Fraud
• Active Id, or "Over/Active Id"
• Bad Bad Puppy
• The Spectator Sports
• I Sing About Blue (Loads MP3 File. Here's a hep remix.)

I can't take credit for this. Kurt R. at Surreal Studios posted this a few years ago. A guy sent him a "demo" on a cheapjack Walmart cassette tape. The guy wanted a "recording" contract.

Kurt has no idea how this ole' feller found out about him--he's in Alaska and the "Blue" guy is obviously more, uh, southerly located.

Kurt asks these questions (which themselves make great band names--with a little editing):

1. Do you think the donkey was in the house?
2. If not, was this guy singing outside? Within earshot of his neighbors?
3. Is it possible to write something like this without alcohol?
4. Most importantly - should I give him a "Recording Contract?"

• Mechanically Separated
• Blame
• The Left Hand Spanners
• Propwash
• Beezus
• Shaped Like A Taco