2015-12-03
The Egg McGuffin
What I'm Pitching to Hollywood this week:
Mac and Me, Too!
The Egg
McGuffin
Written by… (Kyle Friel, currently suing the WGA for credit
stolen by Mark Wynkoop)
Story Treatment
Wheelchair-bound college student Michael Cruise is desperate to get breakfast before his class (where he
does some computer thing). Along with his Mysterious Alien Creature (MAC, who befriended him as a boy), they
come up against endless obstacles, including government agents,
Michel’s suspicious girlfriend, and
an inept “burglar” who is quite a “ham”, as (potentially) portrayed by
Jeremy Piven, Nicholas Cage, Adam Sandler, Ryan Reynolds, Jon Favreau or Johnny
Depp.
Unbeknownst to
them, the McMuffin wrapper is
encrypted with a top-secret quantum code.
But that’s pretty
complex, so let’s just say the wrapper is a map that leads to some gold.
The
antagonists steal the McMuffin, leading them on a wild chase that returns the
principal characters to McDonald's.
When they
finally arrive, they are crestfallen to learn that breakfast hours are over.
The lifelong chums are reinvigorated, discovering that the McMuffin was
not what they really wanted, but that the
real gold is the friendship they
share inside each of them. In a heartwarming twist of corporate synergy,
the CEO arrives, announcing the new “breakfast
all day” policy.
The film ends
on an upbeat note with an extended dance
sequence set to “I’m a Believer”,
or possibly “Don’t Stop Believin’”. The dance spreads from the upscale McDonald's
to the streets, triumphantly ending with an orbital pan, revealing the Earth
slowly spinning in front of the M-shaped constellation of Cassiopeia.
Post Credit Stinger:
A flare from
one of the stars in Cassiopeia heralds the arrival of an evil-looking starship. It
is a bounty hunter sent to return
MAC to his people. The craft lands near
the McDonald's, where the elaborate
dance number is ongoing.
The “Burgher”
bounty hunter (or possibly “King” bounty hunter, or possibly both) sneaks to
the perimeter of the bushes, in order to grab MAC. —Suddenly, Samuel L. Jackson steps from behind a tree and shoots the sneaky king with a complex ray gun.
Whip-pan to a close up of Jackson, fading to black as he quips “I’m in this, too.”
