Vacation 2: A Picture Share!
- . Potty dance
- . blancmange
- . the breast nazis
So if I pump out another Pythonesque used-up name (like Toad the Wet Sprocket), you will forgive me.
The Breast Nazis was (were?) inspired by friend's reports of La Letche League. A number of women I know have had horrible experiences with heavy-handed tactics (is that some kind of pun?).
They say the League is not so much pro-breastfeeding as anti-formula (Bad baby! No Formula! EVER!!). When something so personal gets ideologized, it really sucks. (is that some kind of pun?).
Since I'm explaining everything, "potty dance" is also from women I know who have children.
Vacation 1: Vacation Blogging
Not easy to type band names in A9 predictive text, but I am cheerfully PC free this week!
- .Illuminated Cow
While I am on vacation I will upload anything (including photos) that seem cool. If anyone has any info on the band scene in and around Captiva, pop me a note.
Vacation 0: A Picture Share!
Don't ask. Just contact child labor officials. These people obviously can't afford a lawn mower.
Also, whoever posted this (me) can't figure out the correct way to rotate pictures on my phone.
--Expect more upside down and sideways pictures during this vacation.
Free Band Name:
- Seismic Ginger
Agents of Evolutionary Change
- Heterogenous Accord
- Agents of Evolutionary Change
- The Horde
- The Frugivorous Mincers
- Spies with Pies
- Paradox Motor Company
I think that would be a terrific tagline for this site. We could sell t-shirts and assorted junk with the slogan emblazoned upon them.
Imagine a shirt that proclaims in gi-normous letters "I'm Huge! ©", followed by a small myBandNameForToday logo.
It's just the sort of unnecessary poor-daddy stuff that Cafe Press was made for! Coming soon: my gallery of classic products rendered as if Cafe Press were the distributor!
- Dyked Out
- A Vaccine Called Gabriel
- Pistol Critic
- This Cosmic Darkness
- Romilly Collins
"Taos Hummer" plus ACTUAL CONTENT!!!
Well, necessity, like Frank Zappa, is a mother of invention. So that's how I came up with today's band name of honor: Taos Hummer.
Taos Hummer is such a groove-ridden, jam-heavy band name that I nominate it for my prestigious Band-Name-of-the-Month © award. Excellent name, guys!The Band Names for today shall be:
- Double-Headed Fire Dogs
- Low End Theory
- Thicker Euphonic Coloration
- Wall o' Roar
- Rock n' Roll Martian*
- Taos Hummer
But don't take my word for it. Obtain your own copy today! It's like "Princess Bride" for masochists who also hate their kids.
Today's Music Feature:
A new genre, tube heaven, and surround sound shockwaves
Brought to you by ScoreForSale and Ice Plant Studios
Play StarDrive for Me
I would like to post a clip from "Taos Hummm", a song I'm currently doing with the Phosphene Machine Project. It's a style of music we call stardrive. Imagine ambient or "cruiser" style crossed with the drive of trance or techno. It's space music at 140bpm, then we kick it to lightspeed!
People who have only heard my film music or classical pieces are surprised to hear this kind of drum n' bass noise coming from the studio. But they haven't heard me rock on the Stratocaster either. Wall o' Roar, baby!
I recently discovered that some of my grandfather's old stock of vacuum tubes were standard 12AX7 tubes that fit into my mic preamps. Two of them happened to be the highly sought after Telefunken smooth plate 12AX7's (from medical equipment). I have swapped the Sovtek 12AX7 tubes in my bi-amp and looped it into my effects chain.
You can really tell the difference between these rare vintage tubes and the $8 Russian ones. Needless to say I have been living in a warm analog haze for a couple days. These things positively glow, both optically and aurally. I cannot describe this level of tube warmth.
You will have to hear it.
Surround Sound Compromise
I will upload "Taos Hummm" in both a matrix-surround encoded MP3 and an MP3 in the new MP3 Surround format (which gets its own review soon) . The actual music of Phosphene Machine is full surround, which we encode as MLP, as well as a DTS and AC3 downmix. The surround MP3 formats are major compromises, but they are a bandwidth-friendly way to get my surround music to you. The matrix version is mastered to Circle Surround II, so it is actually quite good, of its type, but you need a CSII decoder for best results. Dolby Pro Logic and PLII works fine also.
We might do a surround-mixing workshop when ScoreForSale goes online in the fall. Write me and let me know if you are interested.
An Horrific Homily. [The author pre-apologizes]
A computerized "word and letter analysis" of this website reveals that the letter "H" has been represented significantly less than the statistical average for standard edited English expostulatory writing (that's "Blogs" to you and me.)
Say no more. First, I present the band names...Then I will rectify the problem of the missing letter H....
- The Sugar Mummies
- Don Ho Hoes a Hokum Hohokam Hookah*
- Planet Gateway
- Wesley Willis Cries Out From Beyond The Grave, "I Ain't Got's Fifty Cent For The Bus No Mo."
* If Hoku hands Don hoes, how many hookahs would Don Ho hoe if Hohokams had hokum hookahs?
It scares me that some of you know that Don Ho's daughter, Hoku, probably has nothing to do with the North American Hohokam tribe. Anyway, its called a peace pipe, not a hookah. A Hohokam hookah is a bunch of hooey. Except as a homology.
Bonus points: Where would Don and Hoku hoe for Hohokam hookahs? Idaho! (Honest!)
That's assuming that Idaho has enough HoJo's to hold the harassing horde of ho's that hallow heroes like Don and Hoku Ho. I hold Don Ho in highest honor and hesitate to hector of follow the fellow.
Although I know this harrowing info is hard to follow, if it doesn't leave you hollow, I'll swallow my ego and sate my sorrow, saying "Hello, me bucko! Bravo! You're my fellow argot honcho."
--Mark Wynkoop (who also offers a post-apology)
Kind of a Kicky Blast, the Guys Got it Together and Wailed, and Really Bent that Gig Out of Shape!
- Psychedelic Mike
- The Diurnal Mixed Diet Cephalopods
- "Battlestar Galaxitive" or "The Stools"
- Mersenne Twister *
- The Dirty Dollars
* And remember that this band's twisted generalised feedback shift register assures equidistribution of the generated numbers in 623 dimensions. And that's a lot of numbers for any band to perform.
In any dimension.
Mark Wynkoop's Funky Psychedelic Phosphene Machine
- Pope Hat
- The Phonemes
- Flying Sandbox
- Happy Elizabeth
- Phosphene Machine
I had previously done an art series of phosphenes from simple to complex. I am interested in creating the aural equivalent of the phosphene. --So I should probably use piezo-tweeters!
- Galloping Pig
- Rednecks on Crutches
- Team Pug
- The Other Hitler
- Held by the God
- Binome Pickups
Special! Migraine Headache Edition!!
- Angel of Destiny
- Mosquito Explosion
- Archimedes Screw
- Dirty Switch
- Competing Head Theories*
*From a documentary about the origins of the Easter Island stone men sculptures.
This is my artistic conception of my headaches.
Click to view larger, more vivid version of headache.
- Taco Poof
- "Tiffany Van Brunt" or "Boti Ann Bliss"
- Food Room
- We! Make! Holes-in-Teeth
- The College of Automation (good name for an EBM group)
Trivia: We used to run into Boti at the pool in Glenwood Springs when we were younger. Cool kid. Her name sounds made up, but her parents were hippies (they claimed to live in a tent), so that goes a long way toward explaining her name. Mitzi Kapture doesn't have that excuse.
"Food Room" is another David Lynch reference, "kitchen" being too specific of a term for him.
lab base 1
It's official. I hereby proclaim that the "O-Rama" suffix has lost it's ten-year sheen of coolness. "O-Rama" is therefore embargoed for another forty years.
For the next decade I shall focus on creating a portmanteau of NOUN + Cornucopia (See yesterdays blog title for an example).
An outbreak of acne shall now be a "Puss-copia", and a woman of easy virtue shall be a "Skankopia." Or vice-versa.
A guy of easy virtue will still be "a guy". Double standards persist into the 21st century-o-rama.
Band names a la mode:
- Shoes of Pain
- *lab base 1 (typewriter font very important if you want your band name to be an anagram of 'baseball') (see, because you used to type the character "1" by hitting the lower case "l" key on most manual typewriters. there was no dedicated numeral-one key.)
- Analog M*I*L*K
- Fingerlick Engineering
Vacation Special: Travel-related Joke-O-Copia
Fortunately the officer was drunk and I was able to introduce several prolific non-indigenous species.
Somebody needs to help boost Australia's immune system.
On the other hand, I have an aunt and uncle in Austria (the former Schwarzenegger country). They sent me this t-shirt:
See, because Austria is in Europe. --Yet it gets mistaken for that big island nation, "Australia". With the dingoes and shielas and all of that walleroo and chazzwozzer. Austria is the birthplace of that bonzer lairponce Mozart, and that's fair dinkum.
If the Habsburg's were alive today they would turn over in their graves. --Oh, they are still alive? I hope they get some of the t-shirt money.
I'm lying. I made up the t-shirt. I deserve all the money.
Here. Enjoy some free band names*:
- Spirit Journey Formation Anniversary
- Tune Salad
- Man Mustard
- Rub Don't Blot
(*Band names are free to read. If you copy them--or name your band thusly--you are beholden to the license agreement presented elsewhere on this blog site. Whip. Whip. Mark is a harsh taskmaster.)
Emergency Pants Alert
- Love Chunky
- California Cheeseburger
- Stink Lodge
- Floor Pie
- Science Pole
- Emergency Pants
Judge Not Blood Clot
- Next of Kiln
- Eggplant organization
- Frozen Globule
- Secretly Admirer
- The Ruminators
- "Psychotic Pickup Truck" or "Psychotic Line Dancer"
- Overripe Cashier
- Perverse Satisfaction
- Pit Viper Anomaly
- The Short Order Cooks
- Inside a Scooby Snack
- Umbrella Pilot
- Surly Hockey
- Fruit Cake Recognizers
- Judge Not Blood Clot
- The Skyscraper Meditators
Happy Birthday USA! It's where I keep all my stuff!
"David Hasselhoff's Shaving Cataclysm" or "Transform Yourself Though The Power of the Fast Forer Effect"
- Generic Karma
- Arizona Wilder
- The Barnum Effect
- Neuropolitical Boobs
- Black Blood Blonde
- Technically Yours, Inc.
While I'm thinking about reptilian conspiracy theories and pseudoscience, it might be neat to get a biorhythm calculator or a Forer Effect personality test up hear on the site. I'll run it past the Bavarian Illuminati and see if it's okay.
Math-minded Band Name fans might enjoy a moment of frisson as I connect Fast Fourier transforms and the Forer Effect. Please ignore it. You are just fooling yourself into seeing a conection. ;-) If you thought you did, your word for today is "Apophenia". (see, we already had a band on this site named "Sniff Pareidolia", so I've got the pareidolia effect covered.)
Clustering illusions have been very important to me since the day David Hasselhoff's shaving tragedy was prophesied to me via his appearance in a tortilla.
Anyway, we're all about wavelet mathematics already (and by "we", I mean "me"). We like to keep on top of things.
By this time, only about three readers worldwide still know what I'm talking about. If you are one of these people...then you are probably too smart to fall for my Nigerian email scam.
The Irish rap artist Yo! Mahoney
Again and again.
As many times as my sense of whimsy decrees.
- Marmarth Research Foundation
- Flywheel Explosion
- Safety Fluid
- Captain Hair
And finally, the Irish rap artist:
- Yo! Mahoney