HOORAY! "My Band Names" Turns One Year Old!!!


This blog is officially one year old and shows no signs of stopping!

My psychiatrist is especially distressed about this. Also my mom and most of my friends.

No sane person should have this many band names in them.

Anyway, the One Year Anniversary voting is suspended (I must remember to disable the voting option...). The winner? "You Can Do 50 Band Names In One Sitting" slightly beat "Please Close Down this Website".

I still intend on uploading graphs of the stats, but the totals go like this:

So we had a band name bullpen session and these are the results. Once I get some media space I will post audio (and possibly video) to prove that these were all made up free of assistance within only a couple minutes. Scary!

These band names were transcribed from the video tape of that session. Enjoy! They are my one year gift to you! If we are still here, serving your band name needs a quarter century from now. . . --it will be pretty sad.

By my count, the tally is like 52 names., so I think my live on-air host got it wrong somewhere. I have not checked these for duplicates, so there may be some.


Wait til you hear the recording of this session. It's horrifying!



Dateline NBC Online Matchmaking Service

Now that I've just about killed any chance for comedy with that title, why don't you enjoy some hilarious band names:

*My friend Doug makes a good point. You'd have to be twice the idiot to solicit a minor online these days:

Any pervert now faces the absolute certainty that when they arrive for their "date" they will be busted by Stone Phillips, Dateline NBC and about fifty local cops.

I hear things don't go too well for child molesters in prison.
[Speaking in a tough Clint Eastwood voice]
If you are a child molester, do the world a favor, creep. Fall extra hard on the bicycle bar. Repeat until effective. This is the best way you can make the world a better place.



Granola Head or Hillbilly? You decide!

I love clean water, clean air and clean underwear. But even I see a point where radical environmentalism becomes nothing more than a "belief system", if you catch my drift. Let's face it: these folks "believe" things. Don't try to confuse them with facts.

An area where Environmentalists and Hillbillies agree? There are several, it turns out. One of these is the deep rooted "belief" that Fluoride in water is bad. All you have to do is ignore 100 years of scientific and empirical evidence that (1) it works, and (2) it is harmless because there is a safe level, just as there are safe levels of the vast majority of chemical compounds of which comprise the world.

But who needs double-blind research studies, chemical models and overwhelming empirical results? Anecdotal "evidence" is the only safe harbor for crackpots.

Speaking of scientific rigor, after an intensive review process, "My Band Names" has earned the prestigious ADA Council on Dental Therapeutics endorsement!

"The ADA has found the 'My Band Names' Blog to be an effective decay preventive dentifrice when used in a conscientiously applied program of oral hygiene and regular professional care."

So stick around and enjoy a nice Band Name or two. Turns out they really don't promote tooth decay after all. Tooth Decay: No. Atomic Decay: Yes.



Mother May I Sleep With Mad Libs?

"My Band Names":

What do I—a new visitor—need to know
to enjoy this site?

  1. This is where I brainstorm potential new band names for my potential new band.
  2. Yes, I was a former host of television's "Pants Off Dance Off".
  3. I invent some of the band names. None are random or computer generated. Generally, I gather offbeat phrases or words from everyday life (real human contact, mass media, or other).

Spot the circumlocutious Aaron Spelling Tribute in today's edition. Here are the proffered band names:

and finally, the Irish rap artist:



Gun Sandwich

Cut and Paste error today. I'd originally reposted most of last week's list. With the amount of money they are paying me to do this, I'd better have it perfect.



12 bands to hold you through the weekend

and finally, the Irish rap artist:



Bad Medicine



The Most Sinusoidal Band Name in Captivity



Snakes on a Band Name

You may not believe this, but this guy had a melon farming snake on his melon farming plane:
Snake on a Plane News Story (opens in a new browser)

The pilot radioed for emergency landing clearance. When they asked what the problem was, he told them he had "one hand full of snake and the other hand full of plane."

After landing, he posed for pictures with the snake.

Call me cynical, but it sounds too much like viral marketing for my soon-to-be favorite film.

On a more musical note (Tee hee!), check out who is in my CD player this week: Da Vinci's Notebook, another satirical D.C.-based quasi-a cappella group. But they have a hard-edged Ben Folds twist. They are less likely to sing about the budget deficit and more likely to sing a windy Jim Steinman pastiche. Cool.

My band names for today shall be:



Roaming Bands of Terpsichorean Surrealists

Q: How many surrealists does it take to name a band?

A: Two--One to hold the guillotine while the other ten fill the swimming pool with colored weasels.

Some would posit that "Dadaists" would more correctly name a band in the fashion I described. To this I say "Cloud upon a blue, blue sky/Flying plank of wood/Eyeball in a kidney pie/O Lord, please don't let me be misunderstood."

My Band Name for Today -- A schism in Dadaism since 1916!



M2 Supermembrane Rocks my Uvula!

You don't need to know string theory to love a great band name!

My conception of multi-dimensional strings projected onto a two-dimensional plenum.

In fact, the two have absolutely no connection. Forget that I mentioned them in the same sentence.

Shout Out to my physicist homies! Wazzup with that dope M2-Brane? All hail the 2 dimensional Brane! It's where I keep all my stuff!

"Soaking White" is quite possibly the Band Name of the Month™. Mad props to the newly minted Sarah M. Maybe she will upload a photo of the pants which inspired this bandname.



Pink Eye

An icky eyeball note to let you all know I'm suffering from conjunctivitis and blepharitis (whatever that is).

I have gentamicin sulfate eye drops and hand sanitizer and have seen both a doctor and an ophthalmologist. Don't be afraid to come around here. Just don't touch my eye fluid.

My band name for today shall be "eye fluid".



A more meat-based space race



Pons and Fleischmann announce discovery that fat bottomed girls make the rockin' world go 'round.

Here is a No-Nonsense "My Band Names" quick start guide:
  1. This site has fake band names. Lots of them. I make them all up.
  2. My girlfriend doesn't think they are funny.
  3. Some of the names I invent. None are random or computer generated. Generally, I just make mental notes of weird phrases or words from everyday life (work, family, mass media, etc.) which are goofy or memorable.

This site has been rated as worth several thousand dollars from Technorati. It would be worth more if I shilled for the many fine retail values available at your local Wal*Mart!

I would never sell the site. It isn't out of any misplaced sense of artistic integrity. I'm just waiting for the book deal.

Faithful viewers, go out now and lobby Simon & Schuster for "Mark Wynkoop's Band Names that Don't Exist! (*and Why They Shouldn't!!)"

Here are your fake Band Names for today:

Thanks to Quackwatch.com for the name "Quack Device". They are referring to phony medical devices offered for sale by shady "alternative medicine" mercenaries.

I just think it would be a great band name.

Here is a selected list of Quackwatch's "Signs of a Quack Device"

Now THAT would be an awesome band!!



Impressive Poll Numbers!

We are gearing up for a big one year anniversary stunt here at "My Band Names".
A David Blaine/David Copperfield-style tour de force (but with fake band names instead of magic):

I will sit down and create as many stream-of-consciousness band names as possible in five minutes!!!

No internet, books or other resources in front of me. And absolutely no prewritten names!

Sidebar: Rock The Vote

The voting also is crazy. One of you voted 57 times in a row for "Please Shut Down This Website."

I really mean it.

I have his URL and geographic region. And originating IP address.

The Internet Police are now on their way to his apartment.

I am KIDDING!!! I do NOT troll for your personal info. And I do not use the super-secret webmaster statistics I do have for evil.

I am the Apache Chief of webmasters. "Inuk-chuk!"

Keep up the voting. There are really quite a few of you out there. I have been tracking the many, many visits to this blog

I was finally indexed and cached on Google recently, so there really are hundreds of hits to the main page each day. It's about time!

I will break down voting by single as well as repeat votes and post the results early next week. I should have added a "greater than 50" option.

I will also try to do the stream of consciousness "tonnes of band names in five minutes" stunt next week. Maybe we can get up some video or at least an audio stream, so you know it isn't a trick.

More info on a date once we work it out. Maybe we'll do a "live blog event" or something.

Keep voting. Cheers!


Yes. I know that "tonnes" is not generally spelled that way. Its an archaic variant. I like to talk like a pirate. Enjoy it!

Oh, you came here for band names? Here you go, ya dope!



First Anniversary Poll!

June is here already! The first year of "My Band Names" has almost passed. To mark this passing I want to pull a massive stunt: namely posting a day with a olde-style tonne of band names. I'm talking about a freaking plethora!

Anyway, I thought I'd let you, the viewer, decide the quantity. Here goes our first poll:

My Band Names
First Anniversary Poll
You can create up to 23 band names a day.

You can do 37 band names, you freak.

50! You're a total band name stud.

None. Please Shut Down This Website.

By the way, the band name for today is:

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