My Band Name For Today

• The Adherents of the Repeated Meme
  
• Beard Scar Pain Milk
  
• Beersheba
  
• The Directional Gyros
  
• Oregon Vortex
  
• New Math
  

• Clown Dismantlers
• Inveterate Tobacco Chewers
• Slow Talkers of America (Thanks Bob and Ray!)

• Shakey McGorkal
• Animeberry RFD
• SwiftMudd
  

• Helper Monkey
• Three Bags Full
• Time Dogs
• Blondsploitation
• The Redneck Geeks of Punk

I'm getting better people...it's only a 3 inch tumor in my chest, thank you very much.

I asked the surgeon if I would be able to play the piano after the operation, and he got a big laugh out of it (It's an old joke, see. --And he knows I'm a musician.).

I'll be back soon with a blog about the differences and similarities between gazpacho and the Gestapo.

Here are your band names:

• Cathemeral Somnambulist

or

• Cathemeral Cthulu

• WaterBra
  
• Mimes of God
  
• Bolis
  
• Universal ReMonster
  
• Band for Fat Ladies who leave Half a Donut in the Breakroom -- What's Up with That?
  

Remember folks, these are hand made band names. None of these are generated by the "Ewok Band Name Generator" (or similar).

Guest Column today! A "Band Names" first--Song Titles!

Today's Guest Song Titles come from complete songs composed by Rachel M. (Age 5).

• Poodles are Green [Sample Lyric: "Poodles are a good pet/I'll get one I bet ( . . . ) Paris is a long way away/I hope I go there someday"]
• The Ocean is Peaceful, with Dolphins On The Side
• Rabbits are Cute
• Home on the Range II ["Butterflies are Better on the Range/Trees are much less blocky on the Range..."]

Rachel made up these songs on the fly last night. They're pretty good and play well to live audiences.

• Visual Purple
• Salmon Dei
• Threshin Crew

• Box in the Cross
• Water Noodle
• Conkus of the Blecktie

• Jurrasic Beaver

• Jobernowl
• Audio Truth Serum
• Logo Daedalus

• Spork

• Incompossible
• Super Naculum

A short essay entitled

Hi, I'm Mark Wynkoop. I run this list.

Don't Google me though. I'm not that Mark Wynkoop.

Potential psycho girlfriends and opportunistic employers rushing out to Google me, think twice. Take what you see with a grain of salt.

I'm not that Mark Wynkoop.

For example:

• I am not married.
• My wife is not pregnant.
• I have no wife.
• I'm not married.
• I don't have cats.
• I don't have any pictures of my grandma's 80'th birthday on the internet -- that I'm aware of.
• My wife is not pregnant.
• I have no children -- that I'm aware of.
• I have no wife.

Questions and Answers:

Q: There is yet another Mark Wynkoop that writes computer books. Are you that Mark Wynkoop?

A: Probably not. I co-authored "Java as an Object-Oriented Language" with Bob Celestino (Mark Lorenz, Ed.) in 1995. It won a JOOP award from the Journal of Object-Oriented Programming. The only online review you will probably find is a few paragraphs that complain about the cost of the book (about $60 US). Whoever wrote that has not been in college since the fifties.

I'm not the Mark Wynkoop that writes the C++ books.

Q: How can I distinguish you from the other Mark Wynkoops?

A: First of all, I do not use the possessive apostrophe "s" when indicating plural, as in "Mark Wynkoop's", Also I am (of course) much better looking and quite a charmer if you look past my screen of Generation X irony (remember us? Generation X, anyone?) . Also, look for these indicators:

• I wrote the music for the films "The Fifth Chamber" and "The Shape of Our Fears".
• I wrote the music for the Navigator Series of edutainment CD-ROM titles from Simon and Shuster.
• I did the multimedia design and 3D graphics for countless projects. I literally have no idea how many.
• I have painted album covers for Groups such as Jekyll Island and Echo II.
• I designed the "3-pane with a big blue button" FAQ format for IBM. You will still see it in certain products and IBM web pages, especially in the vertical "developer tool" segment.
• I helped in both the Hurricane Katrina and Pakistan Earthquake relief efforts in 2005. I did not sleep much in September and November, and I feel the experience changed me in ways I still don't comprehend.
• I had trouble pronouncing "cellular" when I was little.
• I can do a dead on imitation of movie trailer voice-over king Don LaFontaine --- "IN A WORLD!!...Where one man was the law...there's one thing THEY didn't count on! --ONE MAN!!!"

Also I make up phony band names on a blog.

Here are some:

• Spelt Rite
• Pocket Mass
• Positive Rejection
• Sarah Drain
• Touch Me In Mine Inbox
• Boring Glory

• Red-Foot Chloe
• The Runables
• Giraffe-sick Park
• Stankflower
• Pop-a-Smurf
• Disney's California Adventure(TM), Featuring the Music of Jerry Goldsmith
• FlabbyThighs

• Deep Texas
• Van Rastus (sic)
• The Gun Darks

• You Were You Wanted
• Sleep Debt
• The Elite of Mammoth

Previously on "My Band Name For Today ":

My Parents are here.

See, I get "Visited" because I live in a nice area of Florida on the beach. My sister lives in Alaska and probably gets visited less, even though she has babies there and I am single.

If I did have children, do you imagine that I'd get visited any less? Or possibly more?...

The band names today: (en francais pour les canadiens, nom les ensaubles de musique du jour - see, that quarter credit of high school French is not wasted! My French is perfect! Mon francais, il est wonderschoen!)

• Scream for Beads
• Her Other Body
• Internal Scarface

• Baby in the Cake
• More Wonder Beautiful
• Holy BoozeWax

• Quiet Part Loud
• Bicentennial Quarterback