My Band Name For Today

A short essay entitled

Hi, I'm Mark Wynkoop. I run this list.

Don't Google me though. I'm not that Mark Wynkoop.

Potential psycho girlfriends and opportunistic employers rushing out to Google me, think twice. Take what you see with a grain of salt.

I'm not that Mark Wynkoop.

For example:

• I am not married.
• My wife is not pregnant.
• I have no wife.
• I'm not married.
• I don't have cats.
• I don't have any pictures of my grandma's 80'th birthday on the internet -- that I'm aware of.
• My wife is not pregnant.
• I have no children -- that I'm aware of.
• I have no wife.

Questions and Answers:

Q: There is yet another Mark Wynkoop that writes computer books. Are you that Mark Wynkoop?

A: Probably not. I co-authored "Java as an Object-Oriented Language" with Bob Celestino (Mark Lorenz, Ed.) in 1995. It won a JOOP award from the Journal of Object-Oriented Programming. The only online review you will probably find is a few paragraphs that complain about the cost of the book (about $60 US). Whoever wrote that has not been in college since the fifties.

I'm not the Mark Wynkoop that writes the C++ books.

Q: How can I distinguish you from the other Mark Wynkoops?

A: First of all, I do not use the possessive apostrophe "s" when indicating plural, as in "Mark Wynkoop's", Also I am (of course) much better looking and quite a charmer if you look past my screen of Generation X irony (remember us? Generation X, anyone?) . Also, look for these indicators:

• I wrote the music for the films "The Fifth Chamber" and "The Shape of Our Fears".
• I wrote the music for the Navigator Series of edutainment CD-ROM titles from Simon and Shuster.
• I did the multimedia design and 3D graphics for countless projects. I literally have no idea how many.
• I have painted album covers for Groups such as Jekyll Island and Echo II.
• I designed the "3-pane with a big blue button" FAQ format for IBM. You will still see it in certain products and IBM web pages, especially in the vertical "developer tool" segment.
• I helped in both the Hurricane Katrina and Pakistan Earthquake relief efforts in 2005. I did not sleep much in September and November, and I feel the experience changed me in ways I still don't comprehend.
• I had trouble pronouncing "cellular" when I was little.
• I can do a dead on imitation of movie trailer voice-over king Don LaFontaine --- "IN A WORLD!!...Where one man was the law...there's one thing THEY didn't count on! --ONE MAN!!!"

Also I make up phony band names on a blog.

Here are some:

• Spelt Rite
• Pocket Mass
• Positive Rejection
• Sarah Drain
• Touch Me In Mine Inbox
• Boring Glory