Good Day, Mr. Kubrick

Prerequisite: Familiarize yourself with the works of Brian Atene, act-tor.


Good Day, Mr. Kubrick. My name is Mark Wynkoop, Act-tor. It is my great privilege to be addressing the greatest director of our time, although perhaps not as great as genre stalwart Walter Hill, the second unit director of Up Yours - A Rockin' Comedy, and director of Crossroads--although the one with Ralph Macchio--not the Brittany Spears opus.

Now that you have passed on, you are doubtless spending a great deal of time with former act-tors. Some dead longer than you, others shorter, but none more similar to my manner of beautiful affectation than that of the great Roddy McDowell, although I like to think of myself as a young Alec Guinness.

I say this not as vain rodomontade, but strictly as a matter of course. My favorite composer is Erich Wolfgang Korngold, when I was 12 years old I won a spaniel puppy for 50 cents, and my favorite color is green.

And speaking of Ralph Macchio, in a moment I shall be presenting a scene, first from S.E. Hinton's The Outsiders, and then from the premature aging telemovie The Three Wishes of Billy Grier.

But first, your phony band names of the day:

Wait--what about the Crash Test Dummies or Bloodhound Gang?

Love The Chewables!
Thanks. Let's see, the Crash Test Dummies were a real band. I don't recall an actual "Bloodhound Gang" band. It might be a good name for a rap group. "If you've got the crime, they've got the time. They're the Bloodhound Gang..."
They do that annoying song, "...we don't need no water/let the m-f burn..."
Ah yes. That falls into my "easy song" category. I hope to write one of those someday and make some record company a bundle of money.
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