Listen To Karen

My family has a number beloved of old fashioned Christmas traditions. One of the newest and least beloved is involving me in an insanely mind-numbing back-breaking home improvement project. Recent years have included building a barn, installing a septic tank and this year, ripping the floor out of the kitchen. Below the floor was another, moldier layer of old linoleum. Below that linoleum was another, older floor. It went on like this until a hole-filled hardwood floor was uncovered. The levels of Strontium 90 present in that strata of floor dated the base level back to the 1950's, although I am awaiting carbon dating results.

I’m not a rich man, but I can generally make more money by actually working at my real job and hiring a professional guy to do jobs like this.

Probably the greatest gift I could give my parents is some sort of knock-out drops that would allow me to flee just after the festivities and before the public works project set in. --No wait! That would be the greatest gift I could give myself.

Karen told me this would happen.

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