Pizza Hut Ad Alliteration Offends Nation
- Kumite Death-Match
- Talking Urinal Cake
- Cheesy Hunt!
"Cheesy Hunt!" is from spam that Pizza Hut sent me. It's the kind of advertising where a simple misspelling could spell corporate disaster.
Before we scrape ourselves out of the gutter, the ad for the Talking Urinal Cake says "Everyone knows that when it comes to business, location is important"...
Isn't a talking urinal cake one of the 12 signs of Armageddon?
In the headline, I wanted to say "ad consonation" instead of "ad alliteration", but the dictionaries online assure me there is no such term. Somebody help me out with a form of the word that means "applied consonance"
Similarly, instead of "armageddon" I wanted to write "ragnarok", but my editors assured me that the reference was too obscure.
consonance, 2. correspondence of sounds; harmony of sounds. 4 Pros. a. the correspondence of consonants, esp. those at the end of a word, in a passage of prose or verse. Cf. alliteration (def. 1) b. the use of the repetition of consonants or consonant patterns as a rhyming device.
alliteration, 1. the commencement of two or more stressed syllables of a word group either with the same consonant sound or sound group (consonantal alliteration), as in from stem to stern, or with a vowel sound that may differ from syllable to syllable (vocalic alliteration), as in each to all.
"Kumite Death-Match"—I'll remember that next time I'm sparring!
*My Big Book of Words is Webster's Encyclopedic Unabridged Dictionary of the English Language, Updated Revised Deluxe Edition, 1996.
Now I need consonation consolation.
I think I want my band to be The Barnacle Geese. Or maybe Beaver Friday. Or The Candle Saints. Catholicism: all the fun of meso-American religions without the tongue-twisters.