How to tell the difference between Eugene Oregon and Alexander Pushkin's Eugene Onegin

It's back-to-school time, and as a service to freshmen literature students, I present this handy guide for telling the difference between the zany left-coast city of Eugene Oregon and Alexander Pushkin's dissembling verse novel Eugene Onegin.

The two are easily confusable, even though one of them uses a complex rhythmic metric scheme and the other is an elaborate work of fiction.

Novel: Eugene Onegin

City: Eugene Oregon

By Alexander Pushkin

By McKenzie River

Filled with an amazing amount of hipness, despite the passage of time.

Filled with an amazing amount of hippies despite the passage of time.

Hybrid prose poem

Hybrid cars

Major theme: As art imitates life, so life can imitate art.

Major theme: Life can, you know, like totally imitate art and stuff.

Radical novel uses a metric system.

Radical. Novel. Uses the Metric System.

Rambling structure often leaves students at college campuses in a daze.

Dazed students often wander away from college campuses.

Main character eats dinner, jogs memory with old letters.

Characters jog pretty much everywhere, eat lettuce.

Pre-metafiction classic

Prefontaine Classic

Plot: No stone left unturned.

Pot: No left turn unstoned.

Woman moves to city. Affects layers of pretension, acts like jerk to people who previously were her friends.

Yeah. Pretty much.

People in area tried out communism; decided it wasn’t that great.

People in area think communism would probably work if, like, just the right guys were in charge for a change, you know?

I'm sorry, I wandered away from campus...wha'?
Similarly, *I* wandered away from the west coast. As more and more of my income comes from doing 3D work, I'm afraid I might have to wander back. [not to be confused with 'wonder'.]
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