My Band Name For Today

• Flocking Behavior
  
• Burger Trench
  
• Santoku
• Revoom!
• Blade Tang

Today's fake band names:

• Texture Girl
  
• Foot Mobile
  
• Automatic Death Machine Invader
• BOOOSH!
• UnderWire
  

"Automatic Death Machine Invader" appeals to my inner 12 year old.

• Food Monster
  
• Molniya Orbit
  
• Jefferson Airplane Pillow
  
• Pocket Orchestra
  

• The Nut Grafs
  
• Princess Cuddle-Lumps
  
• Sand Anchor
  
• Wombflash Forest
  
• Mexican Stoplight Candy
  

Yes, "Wombflash Forest" is from A Voyage to Arcturus. I wonder what David Lindsay was thinking when he wrote that one. And that's one of the few things I have in common with Harold Bloom.

• Not My Banana
  
• Synaptic Package Manager
• Las Establa Esperando
• The Screaming Barfies (ice climbing terminology)
  
• Toilet Core
• (tie) The Mystical Thespian / Steven Seagal's Lightning Bolt

Flipping through channels I came upon a show on the Spanish language channels. Two girls approch a spooky old house, wander wordlessly through the darkened rooms (all in one shot with no cuts) until they enter a room with an old lady in it. The old lady says "Las establa esperando!", the music swells significantly and the show cuts to commercial. Now that's writing!

Someday I hope to fill 12 minutes of scripted network air by stealing that scene verbatim. Or maybe my perception was colored by drinking too much of Steven Seagal's Lightning Bolt. I'll just stick with the vulgarly named rap-star energy drinks to which my body is accustomed, thank you very much.

• Schwarzenegger Rescues Swimmer
  
• Mneme Machine
  
• Bad Santos
  
• Bass Relief (get it?)
  
• F.I.Z.Z.L.E.

The Govenator really did rescue a swimmer in Hawaii a couple years ago, and he recently resuscitated a high school student who had fainted.

I can only suppose that the cognitive dissonance of being rescued by a movie action hero would cause serious solipsistic doubts about the nature of reality for these poor people that would follow them for the rest of their lives.

• Bone Wizard
• The Wonder Jews
• Fat Pants
• Sugar Dust
• Substantial Afro

"Substantial Afro" is a totally stolen band name. Explosive sugar dust is blamed on a horrible explosion in a sugar factory recently. I never new it existed, much less that it was dangerous.

"Buckle Up for Murder" from a couple days ago is also a title for one of my fake paperbacks. I'll try to get a cover picture up for that one.

EDIT! Got it done. How about this:

• Crap Snapper
• T-Bone Whiz Kids
• Pretzel Wagon
• The Million Volt Light and Sound Rave
• Buckle Up for Murder

• Bust Out Bleedin'
  
• Remember The Milk
  
• GASM
  
• The Button Flys
  
• Ring of Terror
  
• Half of Everything