My Professional Opinion

There are only two band names for today.

And ironically there are also two different stories behind today's band names. I will tell you the most notorious one, and it has the added little kicker in the fact that it is absolutely true.

Today's band names are:
Now the story:

I've been working for a week in Washington D.C.. Yes, I'm working in D.C. on September 11th, but I'm far too busy to attend the ceremonies near the Pentagon.

Essentially I'm delivering a software system, a portal and an information system (yes, three products!) for a management structure that routinely assumes I can deliver minor miracles in real time. I have a habit of saving their butts, in return for which they have a habit of conveniently neglecting to compensate me in a realistic manner.

I reviewed their documentation, and as usual their bids, proposals and requirements were hilariously unrealistic and contradictory. I was sitting in the main executive conference room at the big glass table (the chair where the CEO or director usually sits). I started jotting down some notes on a legal pad in a problem/solution format that I often use.

I wrote the introduction, and was called away. But I frequently came back to the table to check email on my laptop.

A couple hours later, today's band names occurred to me. So--since the pad was nearby--I jotted them down. Then I was off to another series of important and necessary meetings.

Later that evening when I was stuffing pages into my laptop case, I realized that I had left the legal pad laying on the conference table all day. Dozens of executives and officials had been in and out of that room that afternoon and had, doubtless, read my recommendations many times over.

Here is what the big yellow legal pad said:

Yesterday I showed you the problems with your statement of work and basis of estimate.

Today I will offer you a few solutions:
  • Bacon Belt
  • Redneck Vasectomy

Ordinarily I would be mortified.

But the more I thought about it, considering my command structure and the customer involved, it really wasn't such a bad couple of recommendations.

And it certainly was as realistic and helpful as anything they could come up with on their own.

Heck, I probably did some good after all.

Did you explain to them the disconnect, or did you leave them hanging and wondering just how you proposed to implement your solution?

I have laughed pretty hard all day from this post.

Thank you.
I think if you try one bullet point (any order) it will pretty much lead you to the next bullet point no matter what.
The perfect ensemble to wear to any bris.
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